Mission: Hong Kong Girlfriend

After much deliberation, I've decided I need a girlfriend in Hong Kong. The more I think about it, the more I realise this could solve every single problem I have, have ever had, and am ever likely to have (including my current major problem: syncing my new Nokia 6680 with my PC).

Here's the thinking behind it:

Meet: A starting point to meet lots of people in HK
Tour-guide: She could show me all the non-gweilo places to hang out
Translator: in Macau she could translate menus for me and speak to taxi drivers when I'm stuck
Accomodation: I could stay at her's on weekends and avoid having to pay a bloody fortune for hotels
Knowledge-Base: she'd answer the million and one questions I have about Hong Kong like my current one, where do I find a decent tailor on the Island.
Sex: she could fill in the, admittedly decreasing, number of sex-gaps in my calendar [am I the first person ever to use that term 'sex-gaps'? I hope so]

All this AND [struggles to contain enthusiasm], she'd live an hour away and would be easy to sidestep if I didn't feel like seeing her.

Yep, there's no doubt about it, this is for me. In fact, I'll probably just copy and paste the above text into a dating site. Bound to get loads of responses.